1.The first step in healing for me was to forgive my father. Every young woman needs their father in their life or some form of father figure. If you do not have a father on this earth, I would advice that you seek out a father figure amongst the men in your family, it could be an elder, uncle, a family friend; someone who is trustworthy and walks a righteous walk. Yes, having a mother figure is good for us on a certain level, but a father figure completes what a child needs in their lifetime. Another thing to remember is that our Heavenly Father Tata Nzambi (The Most High) is our first and forever father, a father to the fatherless (Deuteronomy 10:18), with that in mind and using scripture as guidance for your life will help you a lot. Remember, we are of flesh, you may not have perfect parents but you are capable of forgiving and loving them the way you want to be loved even when you yourself fall short. Honour your parents (Exodus 20:12). My Father and I have such a healthy relationship, and I'm so glad we have both reconciled with each other; I'm thankful for his life and respect him alot.
2.Second thing I did was ask The Most High to help me desire marriage, to desire being a wife, and to learn how to be one because my flesh didn’t want it. I grew up hearing around me "women can do anything without a man, be successful, don't let a man control you, oh I had a horrible marriage all men are the same, all men are cheaters...", I also heard positive words concerning marriage but it was not emphasized a lot more than I heard the negative side of it. Fear is what was placed within me, I started to build a strong personality so that I wouldn't get hurt, I worked hard to have more money to feel secure if a man came into my life, I didn't trust any man that wanted to court me. I was setting myself up for failure as I kept on dating men that were just as broken as me... When I started to walk the righteous walk and stopped living a worldly lifestyle, my first prayer was that I asked YAH (God) to show me His ways and prove to me that it was better than the life I was already living. Boy did He transform me inside out. I didn't fight I let go and let YAH do the work and lead me through thy spirit on how a true biblical woman had to be. I started researching, reading the bible, watching YouTube videos and unlearning what was taught me to all my life and accepting the truth even if I didn't like what I heard. Over time I started walking as a biblical feminine woman and grew to embrace and love it. This choice of surrendering is what led me to be found by my husband who was searching for a biblical wife! If I had not taken that journey I would have missed the mark. (Romans 12:2)
3.Third thing I did was start to read scriptures on the women of the bible to understand their role. In life, we have to go with the mindset of knowing that we don't know everything and that we are all students until we take our last breath on this earth. I grew up going to church hearing preachings on so many things but never on the role of a biblical woman who takes care of her household. I never was encouraged as a young girl to be a Titus 2:35 woman. Many preached on Probverbs 31 to state that being a modern woman was good, and I just didn't understand why that chapter was being used that way when you can clearly read that proverbs 31 woman was a homemaker with just many talents. Reading the bible for myself and focussing on how the women operated helped me a lot on my growth to becoming a biblical feminine woman before marriage.
4.Fourth thing I did was pray and fast ALOT to heal from childhood trauma, and repent for the worldly lifestyle I lived (because I didn’t want to bring that into my marriage/relationship with husband or children). It's very important before entering marriage to heal and repent from your past. First comes acceptance that you do need help, second comes accountability, and third comes change. Once you go through those steps, you will truly change for the better (1 John 1:9)
5.Fifth thing I did was renounce the jezebelic spirit and walk more in obedience (headcovering, no makeup, no fake hair, no pants, etc..). Some may read this and not agree but when you truly let YAH guide you on this walk, you will be shocked at how many things He require for change. These changes are not only physical but they are spiritual. Many of those things I let go kept me in bondage, when I let go I saw so many changes in my character and way of life. I pray TMH will open your eyes to see what He has shown me. (Matthew 11:15)
6.Sixth thing I did was to change the way I viewed The Most High so that I could respect and understand the role of a man. This was key on my journey because Tata Nzambi (The Most High) would never harm me nor forsake me nor abandon me... when I kept that in my mind and heart, I knew that the man He would bring into my life (because I did pray and asked YAH to choose my husband for me because I trust Him) wouldn't treat me bad but instead treat me like a daughter of Zion just like YAH does. I'm so thankful my husband reminds me of YAH everyday through his love for me via teaching me, protecting me, comforting me, providing for me, etc... (Jeremiah 31:3)
7.Seventh thing I did was to LET GO and LET YAH lead. He protects and guides the paths of those who walk righteously; So do not fear but instead Trust the process sis ! (Proverbs 19:21)
Praise to the Most High!